Husband insists that his wife sell the $3K worth of designer clothing her friend gifted her so they can buy a new couch: 'He's upset and saying I'm putting this fabric before our families comfort'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 1, 2024 1:00 PM EST

There's something so special about getting a gift from a friend. It doesn't matter whether it was cheap or expensive; the fact that someone else cared enough about you to find something that suits your fancy is an incredibly kind and underrated gesture of friendship. While gift-giving might be seen as the most superficial of all the love languages, it's far more complicated than simply buying something that kind of reminds you of someone. 

There's nothing more insulting than selling a gift for profit. Regifting something you really don't like and won't use is one thing, but selling a gift from a friend really breaks all the unspoken rules of gift-giving. If there's a gift receipt, that's one thing, but that isn't what's happening in this story. A woman's husband pressured her into selling $3K worth of Armani dresses her friend gifted her so they could buy a new couch. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10433614336
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to sell the expensive clothes my friend gave me?
    via u/DescriptionTimely616
  • 03
    My husband (m30) wants me to sell designer clothes my well off friend gave me. The clothes total in 3k with two of the articles if clothing costing 1k and 1.5k. The price tags were left on the articles of clothing. It's an extremely fancy brand I've only ever see on tv (Armani). I could never afford these articles of clothing and I was really excited to style it. I got special bags for them to stay in. I would (could) never purchase these.
    via u/DescriptionTimely616
  • 04
    My husband things I should sell them and that they'd help us afford a new couch. The idea of a few pieces of fabric being worth a couch is insane to me and I get why he wants to sell it but I don't want to. He's upset and saying I'm putting this fabric before our families comfort. I think I'd offend my friend if I returned them and I also don't want to. Am I the a hole for refusing to return expensive clothes?
    via u/DescriptionTimely616
  • 05
    soscalene NTA. They're yours, not his. If he got gifted something expensive that he really loved would he be willing to sell it? Regardless, a price tag is one thing but you might only get a fraction of what they're "worth" if you're able to successfully sell them in the first place. Online reselling websites and brick and mortar consignments both will take substantial fees, but clothing in general doesn't keep its value unless it's a specific item that someone has been searching for in particul
    via u/soscalene
  • 06
    You must also keep in mind that for a lot of these brands the price tag also factors in the experience of buying the item from a boutique and the prestige of it. People are willing to pay more when they get the whole personal shopper with champagne experience. Also, many would find it very offensive if you choose to sell a gift.
    via u/soscalene
  • 07
    lefrench 75 Absolutely this. She won't be able to sell these pieces for more than a few hundred bucks, max. Husband is delusional if he thinks they can buy a new, nice couch with the resale value of these 2 items.
    via u/lefrench75
  • 08
    comfortablynumb15 And again, he is free to sell his gifts if he wants to, not yours. He could sell his truck and ride the bus to save money too. Not much chance of that happening though is there? Keep your nice things you could not allow yourself to have if you had to pay for them. NTA.
    via u/comfortablynumb15
  • 09
    the-mortyest-morty He just doesn't like that she has nice things. My ex would do this all the time. "How much money did your parents give you for Christmas? I'M JUST ASKING!!!" (Later: "You need to pay for X for me because you have Christmas money.") Giftcard for my birthday? How DARE I spend it on myself and not something for us (him). I hate entitled people like this.
    via u/the-mortyest-morty
  • 10
    Ali_Cat222 She better cut them tags off before he makes off with her gifts!
    via u/Ali_Cat222
  • 11
    04201981 I used to give my neighbor some stuff that I wasn't using anymore that he said he would have a use for. (G in case, bike, workout machine, wetsuit for diving, etc.) Turns out he turned around and sold it all on Facebook Marketplace. If I knew he was going to sell it, then I wouldn't have given it to him, and I would have sold it. It was technically his right to do so since I gave it to him, though. I found it tacky, and now I don't give him anything anymore. So OP should take that into
    via u/04201981
  • 12
    Mmm_lemon_cakes Exactly this. OP, look on therealreal. Armani is not a desirable resale brand. Dresses are often less than $100. Unless these items are REALLY special they aren't worth reselling if you can enjoy them. Your husband doesn't understand reselling. Wear them in good health and be fabulous!
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
  • 13
    Charming_Usual6227 Men who reason not as "what work should / pick or (if things are dire) things of mine should / sell to get me and my lady a couch?" but "score! my wife can sell this thing of hers to get us a few extra hundreds" will never cease to stupefy.
    via u/Charming_Usual6227
  • 14
    BulldogFever96 They belong to you. Obviously your friend wanted you to have them because she holds you in esteem. Your friend would be very offended to find out that you sold them. You should treasure those and wear them to your delight.
    via u/BulldogFever96
  • 15
    Prize-Bumblebee-2192 ΝΤΑ The clothes are a gift you were given. They were not gifted to him. How would he feel if you told him to sell one of his possessions to finance the couch?? He doesn't get to decide what you do with your things.
    via u/Prize-Bumblebee-2192
  • 16
    Organized_Khaos Do it. Tell him to sell [insert item of his] instead. What does he love golf clubs, a 4-wheeler, a PlayStation? They can go up on eBay. Not cool? Then zip it, mister. Meanwhile, I'd move those items out of your closet, or he'll do it for you. Have your friend hold them for you. He has no respect for you. A couch? For real? NTA
    via u/Organized_Khaos
  • 17
    Weary-Chipmunk-5668 when i was a kid my mom's good friend, who was quite well off, had a daughter a little older than me who would outgrow her fancy duds and passed them on to me. it was so fabulous wearing these expensive things that made me feel extra super in. we weren't poor, but not in the position to spend like crazy. i still remember several items i especially liked and i'm 75 now. don't let your husband ruin the joy of wearing something especially lovely can give you. you can't sell them
    via u/Weary-Chipmunk-5668
  • 18
    cumdumpsterrrrrrrrrr there are couches you can get for free or like $20 on craigslist - if he wants something fancier then it's the same dilemma as you having fancy clothes. nta keep your nice things. it's very special to receive something so nice that you would never get on your own. a couch is definitely not worth that. not to mention it's yours and he is acting positive and guilting you by saying it's "for the family" when you're a part of the family too and should have nice things as well.
    via u/cumdumpsterrrrrrrrrr
  • 19
    ghostiecatlol NTA it's not like your family needs a water heater or you're in danger of losing your home. He wants you to trade your rare nice thing for something he can also enjoy. Why? Why doesn't he think you deserve something nice he can't access? It was a gift. You don't have to make sure every gift you get can be used by him as well. That doesn't even make sense
    via u/ghostiecatlol
  • 20
    Update to add: before I posted this i already started to look for a second hand couch. I found some from Ashley's for 100 each and they are in great condition. He wanted someone new but he's happy with it. I found a bunch of stuff around the house that are mine to sell. I put them on market place. I told him I wouldn't be selling the dresses, but he could sell the ps5 he never plays. We are good now. Thank you all for the reassurance I was feeling guilty for a moment but yall helped me flip the
    via u/DescriptionTimely616
  • 21
    Answering questions: we aren't poor, our bills are paid. But we arent rich. I'm a frugal minimalist and I wanted our extra money to be saved for gifts for our kid this Christmas. We can't afford a brand new couch he wanted. In his defense, I'm frugal and I think he just wants something new and his. I told him we could sell the things I listed above and whatever else he wanted but not the dresses
    via u/DescriptionTimely616

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